New Yorkers.  Some are born here, and some (like me), started as out-of-towners just hoping to find their place in the big bad city.  We’re unlike the rest, that’s for sure.  I believe it was that little show Sex and the City that told me that in order to call yourself a New Yorker, you have to live in the city for 10 years.  Well, I’m only coming up on 6 and I can say from experience that it’s really around year 3 that you start to get your grips on what it means to be  a New Yorker.

1. No patience.

Patience, what’s that? Was I ever a patient person? I can’t even remember now, to be honest.  Maybe that’s why I fit in here so well right from the get-go.  New Yorkers want it, and they want it NOW.  You go somewhere else (like further South, for instance), and you want to scream at the person behind the counter like “WHAT IS TAKING YOU SO LONG?!”.  Meanwhile, they are just moving at what is presumably a “normal” pace.  But of course, we’re New Yorkers so we don’t know normal pace.  Playing tour guide for somebody? Forget about it.  They’ll be out of breath in 5 minutes, because we have an unnecessary need to power-walk everywhere.  Sure, it’s cost effective to take the subway or bus, but who has TIME for that? When I was 20 and broke I had no choice but to wait 20 minutes for a train, then transfer to a bus, then walk another 10 blocks.  Now I just cannot for the life of me seem to argue the fact that a $25 cab will get me there in half the time..even if it does add up to a sickening amount at the end of the month.

I like to think that we earn our right to be impatient.  We don’t pay top dollar to waste time waiting for anything, know what I mean?

2.  Always 15 minutes late

OK, I know I’m not just talking about myself here.  For somebody so impatient, I can never seem to be on time.  How New Yorker of me.  Entitled, much?  There seems to be an understanding in the city that you are allotted 15 minutes late-time before you’re considered rude, or your table is given up, or your appointment is forfeited.  I mean, we do rely on mass transit heavily.  Something we are not in control of, right?  If you’re a time-freak New Yorker, I commend you for your promptness.

3.  Food Snob

We take pics of our food.  We document dinner.  ”Brunch” can be used as a verb.  We have access to the best damn food, chefs, and restaurants in the world, and we ain’t ashamed to share it.  In other parts of the country it may not be normal to spend $65 a person at dinner but hey, for us, that’s just another Tuesday night.

4.  You’ve humbled.

That $65 Tuesday night was such a blast, but odds are if you continue on like that you’ll be dead broke in no time.  Being so damn fabulous on a Tuesday night leads to a trip to the grocery store and grabbing a $14 bottle of wine for an equally-fabulous-but-in-a-different-way Wednesday.  BACK TO EARTH, chica.  You learn to enjoy the simple things, and appreciate those big nights out even more.  You also learn to cook for yourself, because Mom isn’t in the house anymore and while Ramen noodle DEFINITELY DOESN’T GET OLD, it does start to pack on the pounds and you yearn to shake things up a little bit.

5.  Every once in a while, it hits you – you live in the greatest city in the entire world.

Congrats to us, we are New Yorkers.